There is a difference between being lost and feeling lost.
The irony of the Florida Keys is how visible and clear things seem. Everything important is located on a 106 mile stretch of road called Overseas Highway. Getting turned around or lost means north or south. It is nearly impossible not only to get lost on land, but underwater, it is so clear, you can see for sometimes a hundred to two hundred feet. Even relationships are clear. When you meet someone new, their profession becomes immediately clear and transparent. Dive shop t-shirts and sunglass tanlines reveal fisherman and boatmates. Anyone dressed nicely reveals and air-conditioned office job or stay-at-home rich mothers of Islamorada. Daily happy hour is a way of life and it's easy to understand a person based on the drink in their cup (unless it's covered by a Keys coozie).
Amazingly, as always, life is full of contradicitions.
Today, and for months now, I have felt lost here. I have solid roots planted with the real, grown-up job, the real grown-up apartment, and real grown-up situations. Every aspect of my life is predictible. I know exactly how many miles it takes to get to everything and my life on this little island. Everything is within my reach to the point where it would be impossible to even ever be lost. Yet I feel lost. The irony is that I have not been actually, literally lost in over a year. I have not been able to wander unknown streets...that makes me feel utterly out of place.
I absolutely thrive outside of my comfort zone. Perhaps this is too much comfort?
It is comfort that I am exceedingly thankful for. The nature is breathtaking. Every morning I wake up, I see palm trees. I smell the ocean and see the blues and greens that are so unique to this area. I watch heat lightning at bed time from the hot summer sky. My family is just a phone call or drive away, my brother is my neighbor, and my two roommates are also some of my best friends. What more could you ask for?
But my time here is coming to a close. I can feel it, see it. Much like the seasons, it's wrapping up into another one. The winds of change are here.
