Being honest with myself

Today, I felt perfectly and completely happy. I let go, I let live. 

Don’t let your history dominate your life. We have a choice. You can let your past be the ruler of your life—or, you can make a choice to change your attitude and perspective. 

Night Diving

The glimmer of the flash lights and glow sticks was basking all the way to the surface where I was cautiously snorkeling.  One of my greatest fears was being in the ocean at night, so naturally this venture was a big deal. This night trip was not something I necessarily wanted, but it was something I had to do for myself. The scuba divers were easy to follow for me. I skimmed the surface and occasionally got brave enough to free dive (hold my breath and dive down). The beauty of light in such darkness was entrancing. The sun had just set in a beautiful burst of oranges and pinks, typical for this part of the world, so the ocean still held some of the light of the day, but it slowly disappeared and the moon took over, casting its shimmers over the calm ocean.

However, the ocean, as peaceful as it is by night, is anything but sleepy.  The predators and nocturnal creatures awaken, and bio luminescence is abundant. I turned off my flash light to see the glowing at work. Waving my hand around, little plankton and worm bodies lit up in front of my eyes. It was overwhelming for a moment to think that this ocean was so incredibly full of life in every square inch of the place. I noticed some fish burrowing their way underneath their bed of coral and sand for the night. Shining my flashlight out into the open ocean, I could see for about thirty feet in front of me, and there were silhouettes of sea life in the distance.  Needless to say, it was nothing like I expected.

Do something that scares you

Four years ago, I was terrified of the ocean. I had been my whole life which was probably due to watching Jaws too many times as a young child (my mom forbade it, but I'm a terrible listener).  I joined my family on their summer vacation to the Florida Keys that summer four years ago, so when my dad asked on the drive down if I was interested in going scuba diving, I automatically, without hesitation declined. Then something happened. We arrived at our hotel on Marathon Key to a beautiful bay side sunset and a complete stranger on the beach asked me why I was so afraid of the ocean. She said that at her ripe age of sixty seven, she could only tell me one thing about life: her life began when she stopped fearing and started jumping. She said in those moments in her life, she felt truly alive.  You meet amazing people like that down here in the Keys all the time.

Needless to say, this new way of thinking shook me to my core. Yes, the ocean, mighty, powerful, expansive, and mysterious did scare me, but it was time to overcome.

The next morning, I was trained on the basics of diving with a Discover Scuba course and within only four hours, I was ready for my first official dive.  After we boarded and rode to the site of our first dive, I zipped up my wet suit, put on my heavy gear, and got into the water. All was going perfectly, but my heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. At the surface, my scuba instructor looked me in my eyes and said, "you want to do this, you will fall in love with this."  I breathed, slowed my heart rate, and gave the ok to go down. Not only did all my fear leave me, but I felt the most wonderful sense of calm. The silence of being underwater is one of the most unique things I have ever experienced.

Now, four years later, I am finally going to become certified as an Open Water Scuba Diver. It's hard for me to believe that I was ever afraid of the water considering how desperately I want to be in it again. I long for that calm under the surface, taking those first few breaths, and seeing a world that looks nothing like ours on the surface. When I descend the surface, the big blue ocean embraces me, and I am welcomed. I have come a long way not only with those original fears of the ocean, but also with other day-to-day things. The experience taught me volumes about myself.  If something makes my heart race, it is in those moments that I feel undeniably alive.

Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go?

The table is covered with stacks of plastic cups and empty food baskets, evidence of a successful night out at Sharkey's, the favorite hangout of Key Largo.  Boats line the canal beside the bar and people hop on and off occasionally to unite with friends here for their daily end-of-the-day ritual. The hard work of the diving world is eased with laughter and a cup of Shocktop beer completed with an orange. The term local refers not only to "Conchs," but also transplants from all of the world who love to call this place their home.

These people all have a common purpose whether they are travelers, locals, or passer throughs...they fell in love with something fantastic here in the Florida Keys. Life-long dreams are realized, accomplished, and created.

The dress code down here is simple. T-shirts, shorts, tank tops, flip flops. I stored all of my high heels and nice dress clothes away for another time, maybe never to open them again. Tanned skin and sunkissed faces suffice for "makeup." I think I could get used to this life.

The Keys people are resilient. Outlasting tropical storms, hurricanes, floods, and crazy Keys wildlife, it's a strangely intoxicating place...yet something about it sticks. I have yet to figure out exactly what that mystique is exactly, although I have a feeling that it's the adventure of seeking it that makes it what it is.  As for now, I sit with my legs crossed in my chair, new friends by my side in a place where no matter what happens, your cup of beer is always half full.