Building Home

The Haus-Meister at Cara's school in Bommersheim said hello to me today. I think we are finally making progress.

The daily routine as an au pair is anything but boring, and it is at times uncomfortable. I suppose that I had not really thought much about writing my experience because it is mundane, task-ridden, and non-glamorous. Yet there really is something that keeps me thinking that I will desperately miss this thirty years from now.

In the beginning, I felt like a stranger in a strange town, strange country, strange continent...you get the picture. My first day in town, my host mom insisted that I start working immediately. Jet lagged and hungry, I hopped on a bike that was entirely too tall for me and nearly fell over every time I came to a stop. I was riding to pick up the youngest child I care for based off of the small scribbled map I held in my hand.  I arrived late, but it was a miracle that I even arrived at all. The numerous autos buzzed past me at a close proximity as I rode down narrow German streets. Audi, ZOOM....BMW, ZOOM...Volkwagen, putt, putt, putttttt...

No one smiled, waved, or acknowledged another person's presence on the ride to the school. I figured at first that it was just a German thing, but I came to find out from other locals that it was just the area of town I lived in. They didn't take kindly to strangers, and trust me, I was a stranger in every sense of the word.

At her school, no one spoke English and this was the first time I was meeting her in person, so I wandered around this strange place with the strange language and felt utterly out of place. Calmness overcame me when a small blond child ran up and jumped into my arms. "Maegan, Meggie, Meggie, Meggie" she shouted. I had never even met her before, yet she already knew exactly who I was.  She must have known that I also needed that running jump hug for sure.

Time passed slowly at first...my first month seemed like enough time and energy to fill an entire year. There were days that I wanted to get back on a plane and come home because I felt wrong for the job. Three girls so close in age with a mom who works from home and a dad who travels 5 days a week for work makes for a challenging house-dynamic. But I realized that if anyone could do it, it was me. It was me who needed the attitude adjustment, not the grumpy residents of Bommersheim.

My mundane became a daily event to look forward to. At 3:00 every day, I hop happily onto my bike to pick Cara up from school. As I now ZOOM around the narrow streets, pass the castle remains, and the three tempting bakeries, I feel a sense of calm and acceptance. The locals started to recognize my face. At first it was nods, then they turned into "Guten Tag" greetings. I nearly fell off my bike (not unusual for me) when I saw the apple farmer smile and wave at me as though I was a friend.

This job has so many costs, but at the end of the day, the rewards completely outweigh them. Weekend trips to Paris and Rome are nice, but that is not what makes it feel so right. A family from a different part of the world has taken me in and made me one of their own so that I can fulfill my dreams of exploring Europe. I have made friends for life in so many wonderful people. I feel completely overwhelmed with love and friendship. My cup truly runneth over.

Colors

God knows how much I love the autumn. I laid down in the back yard today in a pile of beautiful leaves on top of still green grass. Sometimes I feel like this year's in Germany was made just for me. The landscape is much like home with the rolling hills and mountains in the backdrop. But the leaves are a colors that I have never seen before. The once vermillion reds have come up to a distinct crimson, almost chestnut in hue now. The brave reds are the first to fall this year onto the earth. The orange appears be next, its once saffron color is now wheaten. Last hanging on for the season in this chilly November is yellow. It is still bright as a dandelion, showing no signs of hindrance for its beloved losses of red and orange friends. The amazing thing about these leaves is that even on the ground, brown, and forgotten, they still show glimmers of life with green peeking out on the stems or edges. They have a life and a mind of their own, I am playfully convinced.

I watched the sunset at 5:05 PM today.  Usually my melancholy kicks in and I distract myself with happy music or fix myself a cup of tea, but tonight, I watched the sun go all the way down. Of course the sky itself was a beautiful mix of violet and orange, but the landscape itself always transforms into what I think are the most magnificent colors. The trees and remaining leaves glimmered with a copper-like radiance as the departing sun illuminated from behind. Just when I did not think it could look any more stunning, the sun disappeared and the dusk's sapphire overtook the copper. Finally the darkness from the sky surrounded me with a chill in the air and the first few stars began to appear in the sky. "I wonder what tomorrow's leaves will look like," I said to myself. After I got up and brushed myself off with a couple of remaining leaves in my hair, I noticed that no melancholy had even attempted to approach me. I accepted the sunset and the leaves falling, so why is it any different with my own life?

Change is a part of nature, accepted with grace. If I stand still, everything else continues to move, shift, change, fall, die, and become new once again. If I change with it, exploring, respecting, loving passionately, I can appreciate so much more about myself and others in this short, beautiful life. Ah, what a wonderful world...